In his book, The Pursuit of Perfect, author Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. narrows in on this topic with a look at the barriers constructed by perfectionism in setting. But according to Tal Ben-Shahar, the New York Times bestselling author of Happier, the pursuit of perfect may actually be the number-one internal obstacle to finding happiness. See 1 question about The Pursuit of Perfect. The good book "L'apprentissage de l'imperfection" by Tal. Pursuit of Perfect: Stop Chasing Perfection and Find Your Path to Lasting Happiness! But according to Tal Ben-Shahar, the New York Times bestselling author of Happier, the pursuit of perfect may actually be the number-one internal obstacle to finding happiness. Tal Ben- Tal Ben.


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The Pursuit of Perfect shows you how. Reviews [Tal Ben-Shahar the pursuit of perfection a rare brand of good sense that is embedded in scientific knowledge about how to increase happiness.

Langerauthor of Mindfulness and On Becoming an Artist Send us your favorite quotes or passages from this book.

The Pursuit of Perfect by Tal Ben-Shahar - Leadershop @

She consistently sets goals and standards that are for all intents and purposes impossible to meet, thereby from the outset rejecting the possibility of success. The Optimalist also sets extremely high standards, but her standards are attainable because they the pursuit of perfection grounded in reality.

When she meets her goals, she appreciates her successes and takes time to experience gratitude for her accomplishments. He consults and lectures on subjects including happiness, self-esteem, mindfulness, and leadership to executives in multi-national corporations, the general public, the pursuit of perfection at-risk populations.

The narrow approach of the perfectionist - attempting to attain perfection in every area of life - inevitably leads to compromise and frustration: Happiness is mainly contingent on our state of mind rather than on our status or the state of our bank account. Tunnel vision - focusing on a small part of the pursuit of perfection while essentially ignoring the rest.

For example, if there are 20 students attending my lecture and one of them is asleep, focusing my attention exclusively on the sleeping student to the exclusion of all the other students in the class is tunnel vision.

The pursuit of perfection, if 19 of them are asleep and only one is listening to what I have to say, concluding that my lecture was a success because one student was intellectually engaged is also a form of tunnel vision.

The Pursuit of Perfect: How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life

For example, under work, your ideal might be 80 hours the pursuit of perfection week. Given other constraints and desires; that may not be realistic. Good enough for you might be 50 hours a week. Ideal in the friendship category might be meeting friends every night after work; good enough might be 2 evenings a week.

In a perfect world, you would play 15 rounds of gold a month; 3 rounds a month, though, might be good enough. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not.

Along similar lines, people do not the pursuit of perfection up excessive feelings of guilt because they do not want to lose their sensitivity; they continue to worry out of proportion to the situation they are dealing with, because they fear that not worrying will mean not being responsible. To be able to change, we need a nuanced understanding of what exactly it is that we want to get rid of and what we want to keep.


Researcher Dina Nir writes about the importance of unbundling, the process of taking a particular quality and separating it into two or more distinct and explicitly defined sub-aspects. What does perfectionism mean to me? What do I gain from being a perfectionist?

What aspects of perfectionism do I want to keep? Which elements do I want to get rid of? One of the most useful methods that I have found for dealing with disturbing emotions associated with failure, whether it is fear of failure or the agony of having made a the pursuit of perfection, is to follow the pursuit of perfection PRP process: While coming up with solutions to a friend's problems may make us feel helpful and competent, it often has the opposite effect on the friend.

Barring extreme situations the pursuit of perfection, for instance, suicidal thoughts and feelings are involved, painful emotions should not be so readily medicated away.


One of the the pursuit of perfection significant benefits of suffering is that it breeds a deep respect for reality, for what is. Not only do we make ourselves unhappy when we suppress emotions, when we pretend, but we make others unhappy as well. In this way, the great deception pretending that we are really happy when we are not contributes to the great depression the pursuit of perfection the rising levels of unhappiness in the world.

In putting on the facade, we communicate to others that everyone is doing just great, except for them, which makes them feel worse and even more determined to hide their pain. By perpetually hiding our emotions, we don't give others permission to share their own.